I am sick and tired of reading all the negative things they write about Nigeria. Where are these writers getting their information from? I ask again, where do they get their information from? I guess these reporters and writers are avowed enemies of Nigeria. Yes they are. How dare you write and paint the fastest growing economy in the world in that light? Abeg, my people, I am here to correct all that and set the records straight. I am here to set the template on how to report about Nigeria going forward. So whenever you read anything that is not in line with this template, you know what to do. Let me spell it out for those who do not know what to do- find the next trash can. Continue Reading...
So here is how to write about Nigeria
NIGERIA IS THE LARGEST ECONOMY IN THE AFRICA AND THEREFORE THE PEOPLE ARE NOT POOR
Ignore every report that tends to suggest that Nigeria is poor. How on earth can the largest economy in Africa be poor? Impossible! Our people are not poor; they only pretend to be poor. Those people you see in Oshodi, Orile, Lagos Island and other parts of the country that those ignoramus call slums are not poor. They are only pretending to be poor. In an economy with a rebased GDP of about 510 Billion dollars, there’s no way the people can be addressed as poor. The people who paint Nigeria as poor have been fully deceived by our people and the way they love to dress. You know our people are very modest people; they hate to display their wealth. So please never associate our country people with poverty and poverty related stories. We are not poor and we reject story and insinuations coming from any quarters that tend to portray majority of Nigerians as poor.
PDP IS A GIFT TO THE NATION
God bless the day power was handed over to the PDP. PDP is a gift to this nation. If not for the PDP, maybe Nigeria won’t be in existence by now. So instead writing the kind of thing you write every day about the biggest ruling party in Africa, why not say the truth for once. PDP is made up of people with impeccable character and astonishing wisdom. PDP is made up of men and women who will rather die for the nation than hamper its progress. The party is made up of Men and women who have vowed never to touch the national purse. All the noise about missing USD 20 billion is what it is, ‘noise’. A party that produced the likes of James Ibori, Diepreye Alamieyeseigha, Joshua Dariye and sentor Ndume to mention but a few, cannot be anything but a gift to the nation.
POLICE IS YOUR FRIEND. BELIEVE IT OR NOT
I don’t know why people are hell-bent on tarnishing the image of our gallant police force. Haven’t you heard our Police force always distinguish themselves in UN missions? Some say they dress poorly; how can you make that assertion? Does a farmer wear suit to his farm? Abeg abeg, leave our Nigerian Police alone. As for the twenty naira you always accuse them of? Erm, can’t you give twenty naira and close your mouth? Leave the Nigerian Police alone. And you want to write about them, simply write Nigerian Police is the best, don’t forget to add the word, gallant.
PRESIDENT GOODLUCK JONATHAN IS THE BEST; COMPARE HIM WITH LIKES OF OBAMA, MANDELA
I don’t know why they malign the president of Nigeria. Don’t you know he is the first Nigerian president with a doctorate degree, the first Nigerian president to be married to a Dame? The first Nigerian President, despite the fact that he didn’t have any shoes during his early days is giving millions of Nigerians shoes to wear. Please and please, when next you want to write about our President, compare him with the likes of Mandela, Martin Luther King and Obama. Infact, by the time he finishes, his achievements will surely dwarf that of those aforementioned names. If you doubt this, ask the ‘Protectors of Nigerian Posterity’.
STEADY AND UNINTERRUPTED POWER SUPPLY
Why do these foreign writers keep painting Nigeria as a country in darkness? If you were in the country and the whole place was dark, you should have known that our people know how to conserve energy. They must have turned off their lights to avoid wastage when you were around. Is that what you reported as epileptic supply? No o! People switch on their lights when it is extremely important. PHCN (forget the new aliases, those ones want to make mockery of the achievements of PHCN) is about the best power company in the world. They are always on top of their game. How many countries in Africa have uninterrupted power supply like Nigeria?
GOOD ROAD NETWORK
If you have not driven on Nigerian roads, you probably have not driven on any good roads. God bless our leaders. Nigeria has the best network of roads in Africa. Driving on Nigerian roads gives the citizen a feeling popularly referred to as ‘ground-air experience’. It is an experience in which you can’t say whether you are flying or travelling on land. And those things you call potholes are not potholes, they are local fishing ponds and road water fountains. You need to have a very discerning eye to see the beauty on our roads. We are that good. So change the way you report about Nigerian roads.
THE OPPOSITION APC
They are a very wonderful party, one of the best opposition parties in Africa. I don’t know where you reporters got the notion that the party is made up of strange bed fellows? Haven’t you heard of unity in diversity before? Haven’t you seen how awesome their leaders are in all the states where they control power? They deliver people orientated projects, quality education programs, free medical services and food for all indigenes sometimes at no cost to the people. We are fortunate in this country; we have got marvellous ruling and awesome opposition parties. No wonder we are taunted to become a world power in the nearest future.
UPRIGHT PEOPLE a.k.a GOOD PEOPLE GREAT NATION
The people that always write that Nigeria is corrupt are either arch enemies of this country or they do not know what corruption is all about. Government officials in Nigeria are probably the most honest people in the world. They are very honest people; people of impeccable integrity. Whatever you read to the contrary is simply ‘bad belle’. Government officials are handsomely paid, so there’s no need to dip their hands into government coffers. What you probably don’t understand is that a labourer is worthy of his wages. Nobody steals money, nobody loots, nobody embezzles, nobody misappropriates, not in Nigeria. It is not possible. They only take that which is their birth right. After all, na where person dey work, na him dey chop, that is why them call am “workshop”
So when next you pick your pen to write about Nigeria, mind what you write. Your hear?
