Uloma Chimezie posted the other side of this article yesterday which she titled 'The Wife's Duty Part 1' and here is the part that's dedicated to the husband since the women have learnt what they are expected to do as good wives [Read Here] if you missed it. Continue Reading below...
The back to the topic of the day
If you are a man and are married, or are betrothed (engaged to be married), or hope one day to be, the scripture has some things to say to you. Today I want to look at the five duties of a man to his woman. The five duties of a husband to his wife. And I don't care what anybody else has told you, if the husband fails to fulfil these five duties, he has forsaken the Lord and His sacred rules which he has ordained. (Love Her) The first duty of a man to his woman, or a husband to his wife, is to love (Greek word agape) her. Now, you might say, "Well, that goes without saying! Move on to number two!" Your wife probably wants me to stay at number one. Because, often, what goes under the name of love has little to do with love. The word 'love' has become a misunderstood word. For example, people say, "I love my job. I love my home. I love chocolate cake." Generally what they are talking about is what those things do for them. "The home makes me comfortable. The cake satisfies my sweet tooth. The work satisfies my desire for a career." The word 'love' has become a word to describe the lusts of the flesh, and nothing more.
You see, when the scripture talks about love, it talks about the sacrifice that you make for the betterment of someone else. You can only measure love by your sacrifice, not by your enjoyment. If you talk about loving your wife, and you mean by that that she does a lot of good things for you, that's not love. That's her loving you. To say that a man loves his wife is to talk about the sacrifice that you make for her.
Jesus Christ didn't die for us because we were lovable; Jesus Christ died for us to make us lovable. A man doesn't love his wife because she deserves to be loved; a man loves his wife in order to turn her into somebody who he wants to love. It is not that "My wife is right, therefore I'm going to love her." It is, "I'm going to love her that whatever wrong there is will turn from wrong to right." It is not that "She's meeting my needs therefore I love her." it is, "I'm going to love her until she learns to meet my needs." It is not that "She's being everything to me I need her to be." It is that, "I'm going to love her until she turns into somebody who can be everything that I need."
Most men date in order to marry, when the scriptural principle is to marry in order to date. Most men "turn her on" in order to get her to say "I do." Well, the scriptural idea is have her say "I do" so that he can spend the rest of his life turning her on. If you want to raise the question "Are you a lover" (and every man likes to think of himself as a lover), the measuring rod of a lover can only be measured by the size of the cross he's carrying.
Husbands, love your wives like Christ loved the assembly. He loved the assembly to death! When the first man was created, God had to split his side open in order to take out his rib in order to get Eve. Christ has to bleed in order to birth His congregation. And in order for your wife to move from where she is, in order to get to where she ought to be, that means you have to take a trip to Calvary. That means you'll have to decide "I am willing to pay whatever price of inconvenience. I am willing to commit myself to her fulfillment no matter what pain is involved in that. I am willing to go the distance to turn her from where she is into where she ought to be.
The scripture says Jacob loved Rachel so much that he worked fourteen years in order to gain permission to marry her from her father (Genesis 29). That's a high price to pay, but it's the price of true love. There are men that want to run away from their wives because they are not lovable. If she was lovable she wouldn't need a Saviour. Only sinners need saviours!
